33 Weeks

Pregnancy is funny to me. It's so oddly... not lonely, that's the wrong word completely... but you're truly going through it alone. People can (and do, most certainly do) sympathize and show concern. They always want to know how you are and if you're feeling OK. "Can I get that for you?" they ask. "No, I've got it," you tell them, but they still look at you like you're going to drop whatever .00000005 pound item you're carrying.

But still, it's almost like you can fold in on yourself, you and the little life growing inside of you. This boy is getting big. I hope not too big. At times I feel what I know is an elbow or a foot and I think how in just over a month I'll touch the skin on that foot. I'll put it in my mouth like I did with my daughter when she was a tiny baby because I'm a totally weird mama like that. My daughter who will be nine in a matter of days. Who was just a baldy bouncing baby just two days ago, wasn't it? Didn't she just start sitting up, watching me try to get back into shape with the Pilates tape I bought? Where she'd laugh and laugh every time I tried to do the walrus or the mermaid or whatever it was because I can't remember. Even though it was just two days ago. And now I see the emerging face of a young woman, peeking out behind the still soft cheeks of a child. She will love you baby boy, know that she will love you.

xoxo,

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